Tagalog Magkumpare Jokes and Pinoy Pare Jokes

Here's a extensive collection of best, naughtiest, funniest and latest Tagalog Magkumpare Jokes and Pinoy Pare Jokes, made just for you and to share with. This Pare Jokes collection also features funny conversation of famous magkumpare Pedro and Juan. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Pare Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pare jokes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Pedro: Pre! Ano ang mas mahalaga, pera o asawa?
Juan: Syempre, pera! Kasi, ang pera, habang tumatagal, lumalaki ang interes.   Ang asawa, habang tumatagal, nawawalan ka ng interes, tapos, inuubos pa ang pera mo!XD

**********   *

Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano daw, basta may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Baraha.XD

Check out this Tagalog Funny Jokes video of Porkchop Duo

Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!
Juan: Maniwala ako?!
Pedro: Totoo!
Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?
Pedro: Asin!XD

**********   *

Juan: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pedro: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Juan: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pedro: pare ako nanalo!XD

**********   *

Pedro: pare amoy tinapay ka ah..
Juan: talaga? hehe anong klaseng tinapay naman?
Pedro: Putok pare!  XD  

**********   *

Juan: Ano ang pinakamainit na bahagi ng katawan ng babae?
Pedro: Singit.
Juan: Bakit?
Pedro: Kita mo, sa sobrang init, nagkaroon ng biyak!

**********   *

Pedro: Pareng Juan, what is your greatest fantasy?
Juan: To be kissed by someone in the rain, Pare how about you?
Pedro: to be that someone kissing you in the rain. Love you Pare!

**********   *

Juan: Pare! Ang ganda ng dream ko kagabi! Dinidilaan ko ang pagitan ng boobs ni Angel Locsin!
Pedro: Hayop ka, pare! Kaya pala basa ang puwet ko paggising ko! XD

**********   *

Juan: mga pare! yung asawa ko, favorite movie niya yung "Lord of the Rings the TWO towers" at sakto, kambal ang anak namin..!
Berto: wala ka sa asawa ko! favorite nya yung "the THREE musketeers" at
sakto, triplets ang anak namin..!!

nagtatawanan ang dalawa nang mapansin nila si Pedro..

Juan: Pedro! bakit parang balisa ka? Di ba manganganak na din ang misis mo?
Pedro: eh meron kasing favorite movie yung misis ko, kinakabahan ako...
Berto: anong movie ba yun?
Pedro: 300..!!XD

**********   *

Pedro: "pare, malungkot ka ata?"
Juan: "marami akong problema 'pre.."
Pedro: "wala yun 'pre. tumingin ka sa akin..."
Juan: "pare naman, please lang. wag mo nang dagdagan pa!"XD

**********   *

Juan: Uwi na ako at gustong gusto ko na hubarin ang panty ng misis ko!!!
Pedro: Bakit, hot na hot ka na pare?
Juan: Hindi!!!! Masiyadong masikip sa akin eh!XD

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Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes

Here's a collection of Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes.  If your have your own favorite  Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes, we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy green. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Kanto Tinio Street

Juan:Bakit natatakot ang mga babae na bumaba sa Kanto Tinio St sa San Pablo, Laguna?
Pedro: kasi tuwing bababa ang mga girls ohh yung bababa, kanto tinio na nyahaha

**********   *

Eye check

Ben : Doktora, malabo na yata ang mga mata ko.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang legs ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang panty ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Loko! Bakit bumubukol ang pantalon mo!? hahahahahaha

**********   *

Isang araw merong pok-pok (prosti). Tinawag ng costumer at pumasok sa kotse ng costumer na ilang beses nya na nakasex.

Prosti: Oh ano gusto mo gawin ko nanaman!?!
Costumer: Ano pa eh di yan trabaho mo!!!
Prosti: Hindi naman yun ang gusto mo eh na kikita ko sa mga mata mo! sabihin mo na ang totoo!!!

Lindol

Titser: ano ang dapat gawin kapag lumindol??
Pedro: buksan po ang ilaw!!!
Titser: Bakit?
Pedtro: kasi po sa kubo namin madalas lumindol pag gabi… pero kapag sinindihan ko na ang ilaw biglang tumitigil.

**********   *
Kararating lang ng mister galing sa trabaho…Init na init at binuksan ang mga bintana sabay hubad.
Ano ka ba naman sabi ng misis… baka makita ka ng mga kapitbahay natin iisipin nilang pera lang ang habol ko sayo.

basag si Mister heheheh

**********   *

Juan: …lang kwenta yang kwento mo pare… Ito pakinggan mo. Nakasakay ako sa bus bandang likuran kaninang umaga. Ang tindi siguro ng pag mamahalan nong dalawa. Naglalambingan ,naghahalikan, at kung ano ano pa ang pinagagawa .maya-maya di na nakatiis yong babae inilabas yung suso at sinuso naman nong lalaki.

Pedro:  Wow !.. Matindi nga .
Juan:Matindi talaga! Ang babata pa naman.
Pedro: Mga ilang taon pare?
Juan: “Yong babae… mga 18 years old siguro.
Pero yong lalaki mas bata … siguro mga mag dadalawang taon..
Dumi kasi isip nyo… nayahahah

Masasakit na marinig sa isang babae pag nakaharap sa isang nakahubad na lalake:

1. Mas malalaking tabako ang sinigarilyo ko kesa diyan.

2. Ahhh, ang cute naman.

3. Ano kaya, magyakapan na lang tayo.

4. Nagkunsulta ka na ba sa isang plastic surgeon?

5. Pasayawin mo naman o…

6. Wow, ang laki pa naman ng paa mo.

7. Oh no… biglang sumakit ang ulo ko.

8. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit napakaganda ng kotse mo.

9. Ano kaya, pag dinilig natin, lalaki yan?

10. Giniginaw ka ba?

If you have you own Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be delighted to have them featured here at www.boybanat.com. Let us inspire more readers. For more reads and updates, you can also visit and Like our Facebook Page (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

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Tagalog Random Jokes and Pinoy Favorite Random Jokes

Random Jokes and Pinoy Favorite Random Jokes is a vast collection of funny, green and the best filipino jokes that really expand over the social networks and websites.  Did you know that it's common for other Filipino to laugh at or make fun of one scenario or that really catch his attention. See some funny pinoy clips here at this post. 

Enjoy our Tagalog Random Jokes that are worth to share with your friends:

Anak: " Dad, totoo po ba na may multo?"
Dad: "Anak walang multo! Kalokohan lang yun. Bakit mo naitanong?"
Anak: "Sabi po kasi ni yaya me multo!"
Dad: "Anak, wala tayong yaya!"

*     *    *     *     *

Sabi ng sosyal na Ipis kay Inday:
"Don't you dare hit me with that magazine you are holding!"
Inday: "Avah, and why not you dirty land-dwelling anthropod?"
Ipis: "Because only Havaianas touches my skin. Who touches yours?"

Boy and Girl Tagalog Funny Jokes

What do you think will happen when Boy and Girl collides? It'll probably be World War III! Boy and Girl Tagalog Jokes is a collation of gags written in a matter of conversation between a Girl and a Boy. If you're having a hard day and you want a lot of LOLs and ROFLs, well this read is perfect for you. 

Here's a collection of Boy and Girl Tagalog Funny Jokes made just to make you laugh. Hope you'll like it!

Boy : Miss, para kang chicharon
Girl : bakit naman?
Boy : ang sarap mong papakin!
(bakla umepal)
Bakla: ako rin parang chicharon!
Boy : oo...bwiset! nakaka high blood ka!

*     *     *     *     *

Boy : Chocolate ka ba?
Girl : (kinilig) Iihhh!   ba ‘yan?
Boy : Hindi. Negra ka kasi!rolling on the floor

Visayan Funny Jokes and Bisaya Cebuano Funny Jokes SMS

Looking for visayan and cebuano funny jokes SMS? Check out this collection of  Visayan Funny Jokes and Bisaya Cebuano Funny Jokes SMS , enjoy this short and funny jokes with your friends and even post it your FB status.  If you have your own favorite  Visayan Funny Jokes and Cebuano Funny Jokes SMS, we would love to hear it,simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: bisaya jokes. Hope you'll like it!

Teacher: Class if basura ko asa man ko ninyo ilabay, nabubulok o di nabubulok?
Dingdong: ai sa di nabubulok ma’am.
Teacher: ngano man?
Dingdong: ai, alang kay plastic man ka ma’am.

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Sa Math Class..
Teacher: kung naa koy 1 ka piraso nga karne ug tungaon nako, pila na ka piraso?
Juan: 2 mam!
Teacher: at kung tungaon pa nko preho?
Juan: 4 na mam!
Teacher: tungaon pjud nko?
Juan: 8 na mam!
Teacher:Tungaon pjud nko?
Juan: 16 na mam!
Teacher: 2ngaon pjud nko?
Juan:32 na mam!
Teacher: kung 2ngaon pjud?
Juan: 64! (suko na)
Teacher: ug tungaon pjud ug kduha?
Juan: Ipagaling na lang na mam ky malangan natah...

**********   *

“Duha ka lalaki”
Dunky: Dingdong, pang exam man kayo na emong ngipon..
Dingdong: Ha? Ngano man?
Dunky: One set apart hehehe…
Dingdong: Kana pud emong ngipon bai pang exam pud kayo
Dunky: Ngano man pud?
Dingdong: Feel in the blanks..

**********   *

Sa isang contest, interview portion
Ano ga2win mo pg gumising ka
na may ktabing $1M?...
KANO: go on a world tour
HAPON: put up a bizniz
PINOY: 2log napud para
mahimong $2M!!!hehehe

**********   *

May panget na lalake na humiling sa fairy.
FAIRY: anu kahilingan mu?
PANGET: my map ako d2 ng US, dalhin mu ko dun
apra makita ang babae ng buhay ko.
FAIRY: di pwede dong, dito lang sa pinas pwede powers ko!
PANGET: maging mortal na babae ka na lang
at pkasalan mo ko!
FAIRY: patan.aw rah gud anang litse na mapa b,
bcin mapangitaan nato'g paagi!
haha..

**********   *

Sa isang Korte
Judge: Pedro, unsa man jud ang nahitabo?
Pedro: (wala ni tingog)
Judge: tubaga ang question!
Pedro: ingon hearing lang ni!
Ngano naay Speaking?

**********   *

Kerido: Babe, ano nem ko sa celpon mo
para d ta masakpan sa imo bana?
Kerida: Mc Donald
Kerido: Ngano man?
Kerida: Love ko to! ako langga? ano nem
ko sa celpon mo?
Kerido: BDO
Kerida: Ngano man kana gipili nmo?
Kerido: We Find Ways!

**********   *

Mama: Nak, nganung ngkabulingit man ka?
Anak: kabantay ka anang kanal dri ma?
Mama: Oo nak, kbantay ko. Nganu man?
Anak: ako wla.

Boy: nganu mura man kag nhadlok?
Girl: hapit kako ma rape diha sa unahan, may gani koy kwarta.
Boy: unya emu na lang gihatag imung kwarta?
Girl: wala ui ng hotel mi. lain sad kau diha rmmi sa daplin.

**********   *

Anak: kanang makabyahe kug lain nga lugar
unya naa ko dghang kwarta nga gkuptan.
Tatay: char! gusto diay ka mag KONDUKTOR nak?

**********   *

American: Pedro, can you guide me where's the house of Mr. Juan dela Cruz?
Pedro: Sure Sir! Hunong ka ila "Emong",
simang ila "Emang", unya liko ila "Iko"..there u can find the
house of Mr. Juan dela Cruz..
American: Hey! don't speak too much english of me because I am only grade 3
in Amerika!!!!!hahahahaha...

**********   *

A fast beating heart doesn't
always mean Love...
A blushing face is not always
a sign that your inlove
sometimes HUBOG LANG! hahaha

**********   *

Boy; hulog ka ba ng langit?
Girl: asus..saba diha! karaan na kau ng linyaha..
Boy: kay nalumping man gud imong nawong. haha..

**********   *

Pangako wlang limutan
kasi ikaw langit ako lupa
ikaw Atop ako Salog
Ganyan kita ka love palage kang nasa itaas
ako KAHOY ikaw Unggoy!

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Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes

Here's a extensive collection of the best, funny, naughty and latest Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes made just for you and to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: lasing jokes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Nung tinanong ako ng magulang ko,
“Anong napapala mo sa kaka-inom?”
Tinanong ko rin sila,
“Anong napapala ninyo sa kaka-sermon?” XD

*********   *

Nahuli ni misis si mister na lasing sa club,
kaya nagpanggap siyang GRO. Mrs:”Pogi, gusto mo ko i-table?”
Mr: “Ayoko sa yo, kamukha mo asawa ko!”

*********   *

“Biruin na ang lasing, kahit pa ang bagong gising,
wag lang ang bading na inagawan ng booking.”

*********   *

While drinking with the boss, she challenged,
“Ang ayaw na uminom, bading!” Wanting to go home already,
I told her, “Babu na girl, Suko na akesh!”

*********   *

You know why alcohol is better than milk?
Pangit kasi pakinggan yung, “Tara ‘tol, dede tayo!”XD

*********   *

A girl in a bar was offered margaritas, got drunk & was gang-raped.
The next day, not remembering what happened the previous night,
she came back to the same club & was again offered the same drinks.
She said, “Ayoko na ng margarita, masakit sa puk*!”

*********   *

During a drink fest in Tagaytay, my cousin was so drunk that she chased my gay friend shouting, “Halika dito, gagawin kitang lalake!” XD

*********   *

Text exchange between 2 friends:
Ben, the hunk, and Alvin, the gay who was drunk.
Ben: Matagal ko nang tinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo.
Mahal na mahal kita.
Alvin: “Oh my gosh, akala mo ba ikaw lang?
Mahal na mahal din kita, Ben!” (long pause)
Ben: “Pare, wrong send ako.”

*********   *

Two drunks peeing in public toilet, one straight, one gay. Gay was watching straight guy as he peed. Straight: “Pag di ka tumigil, hahampasin kita nito!” Gay: “Promise?” 

Isang girl may nakitang umiihing lasing sa daan.
Girl: “Ano ba yan! Ang daming bulb*l pero ang liit ng t*ti!”
Lasing: “Anong gusto mo, maraming tit* pero maliit ang bulb*l?”

*********   *

Lasing 1: “Pare totoo bang babaeng lamok lang ang nangangagat?”
Lasing 2: “Tanga, pati aso nangangagat!”

*********   *

Lasing 1: Ano nga pala spelling ng orange?
Lasing 2: Alin, yung kulay o yung prutas?

*********   *

Namatay yung kapitbahay namin na drug dealer.
Sa 1st night ng bur0l, may mga dumating na addict na mga lasing.
Biglang lumapit yung isa, sabay yumakap sa kabaong
sabay sigaw ng, “Drug lord, bakit mo kami iniwannn!!!”

*********   *

During an all-girl inuman, one friend complained that only ugly men are courting her. Another friend assured her, “Ganun talaga, kasi yung mga guwapo, sila-sila ang nagliligawan!” 

If you have you own hilarious Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Tagalog Halloween Funny Jokes and Quotes

Here are funny and spooky Tagalog Halloween Funny Jokes and Quotes, made just for this halloween and for you to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Halloween Funny Jokes and Quotes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: halloween jokes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Anak: Tay, totoo po bang may multo?
Tatay: Anak walang multo! Bakit mo naitanong?
Anak: Sabi kasi ni yaya merong multo!
Tatay: Anak…T@ng!n@ naman, wala tayong yaya!

**********

Junjun: Pa, may multo daw sa kusina natin?
Papa: Anak, sino naman nagsabi sa iyo niyan?
Junjun: Si Mama po!
Papa: Ay nako, wag ka nga magpapaniwala dun! wala namang multo eh! Ang mabuti pa samahan mo na lang ako sa kusina at iinom lang ako ng tubig!!

If someone leaves you, don’t dare cry, smile and be happy. Pero bago mo sya palayain, ipagtapat mo ito sa kanya: isa akong DYOSA, pasalamat ka pinatulan kita! LAMANG LUPA!

**********

Tip for a Long Life: Huwag isusulat ang name mo sa condolence book pag dumadalaw ka sa patay kasi pagkatapos ng libing, merong raffle kung sino ang isusunod!…try nyo kaya!LOL!

**********

Isn’t it nice to be in bed,and someone's with you to watch you, touch your hair down to your back, and whisper to you.. “HANAPIN MO ANG PUMATAY SAKIN!!” haha

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Pinoy Doctor Jokes and Tagalog Doktor Jokes

Here's a collection of Pinoy Doctor Jokes and Tagalog Doktor Jokes because medical humor is pretty darn funny.  This just for entertainment only and not intended to make fun on other. If you have your own  Pinoy Doctor Jokes and Tagalog Doktor Jokes, we would love to hear it or just email it to us with a subject: doctor jokes. Enjoy!

Pasyente: Magkano ang facelift?
Doktora : Complete treatment po ay P145,000
Pasyente: Ang mahal naman! Ano bang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata?
Doktora : Heto tsupon, P20 lang

**********   *

Nurse: Doc, ba't tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
Doktor: Alin, yung bakla?
Nurse: Opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porke bading siya.
Doktor: Ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

**********   *

Pasyente: ok ba ang services dito sa ospital ninyo?
Doktor: oo naman, sigurado yun.
Pasyente: paano kung di ako satisfied?
Doktor: ibabalik namin sakit mo.

**********   *

Juan: Labo na mata ko.
Doktora: Kita mo puti legs ko?
Juan: 'Di po.
Doktora: Kita mo laki boobs ko?
Juan: 'Di rin po.
Doktora: G@g()! Bakit tumi-tigas t!t! mo?
Juan: Imagination lang po ‘yan, Dok.

**********   *

Doktor:  Aba! Grabe naman ang lalim ng butas ng flower mo! Aba! Grabe naman ang lalim ng butas ng flower mo!
Prosti: Si dok naman! Kailangan ba tala¬gang ulit-ulitin mo pa?
Doktor: Hindi ko inulit, ineng! Nag-echo lang! Hindi ko inulit, ineng! Nag-echo lang!

**********   *

Doktor: I’m sorry, wala na akong magagawa para tumayo pa si manoy mo.
Palagyan mo na lang ng bolitas.
Pedro: Pagkatapos po, doc?
DoKtor: Gamitan mo ng magnet para tumayo.

**********   *

Doktor: umubo ka!
Juan: ho! Ho! Ho!
Doktor: ubo pa!
Juan: ho! Ho! Ho!
Doktor: okay.
Juan: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
Doktor: may ubo ka.

**********   *

Girl: Dok, pa-check- up lang po.
Doktor: Sige, iha. Mag*hubad ka at humiga.
Girl: Hindi po ako. ‘Yung lola ko po.
Doktor: Sige, lola… hinga!
Lola: Hinga? Hindi hubad?
Doktor: HINGA!!!

**********   *

Doktor : lola, kayo na po. ike-chemo na po kayo.
Lola: BASTOS! walang modo! T-I-T-I mo rin!!!

**********   *

Girl: Doc, kumusta na ang asawa ko?
Doktor: Sorry ma'am. Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang magpapakain at magpapaligo sa
kanya, kasi, putol na ang kanyang mga kamay at paa.
Girl: Hah?! Hindi nga?!?
Doktor: Hehehe! Ninerbyos ka ano? Joke lang! Patay na sya!

**********   *

A lady goes to the dentist and immediately takes of her panty and spread her legs.
Dentist: Ma'am d po ako ob-gyne.
Lady: Ikaw ang gumawa ng pustiso ng Mr. ko, ngayon tanggalin mo!!

**********   *

Doktor: meron akong good news and bad news sayo..
Pasyentet: ano po yun dok?
Doktor: ang good news ay may isang araw ka pa para mabuhay..
ang bad news nakalimutan kong sabihin kahapon..

If you have you own Tagalog Funny Doctor Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Vice Ganda Funny Tagalog Quotes and Jokes

Vice Ganda Funny Tagalog Quotes and Jokes is composed of Tagalog quotes and wholesome jokes from comedian/singer Jose Marie Viceral well-known as Vice Ganda.

Vice Ganda has once again proven that he is “unkabogable!” through his distinguish style of cracking jokes and the way he has coined various phrases such as "i-Dawn Zulueta mo ako" and "May nagtext".

The multifaceted performer has paved the way to a new brand of comedy that has become part of the local pop culture of the Filipinos. Laughter is, indeed, the best medicine and Vice Ganda Funny Tagalog Quotes and Jokes is a collection that will surely make you roll and laugh out loud.

(Vice papasok sa isang Pool)

Vice: Magkano Kuya?

Sekyu: yung Entrance po?

Vice: Ay hindi hindi?! Yung Exit

Diba papasok palang ako XD

Pinoy Love Jokes and Tagalog Love Jokes

Here's a collection of Pinoy Love Jokes and Tagalog Love Jokes.  Also includes love jokes conversation of Boy Banat and Girl Banat.  If your have your own favorite Pinoy Love Jokes and Tagalog Love Jokes, we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: love jokes Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

: Sabihin mo lang kung inLAB kana sa akin ha?
sasagutin kita agad..
Boy Banat: Talaga? alam mo para kang Rebisco..
Girl Banatbakit nman?
Boy Banat: ang kapal ng feeling mo.

*     *     *      *     *

Boy Banat: Unggoy ka ba???
Girl Banat: bakit?
Boy Banat: kasi sumasabit ka sa puso ko.
Girl Banat: Tse! pahinga ka nga..
Boy Banat: bakit naman?
Girl Banat: kasi kanina kapa tumatakbo sa isip ko..
Boy Banat: naks naman! maka kuha nga ng hagdan.
Girl Banat: para saan naman?
Boy Banat: Aakyat na ako ng ligaw! kaw kasi tinitignan palang kita
tinatamaan na ako..
Girl Banat:kaw talaga! sige na nga..
yumuko ka na lang!
Boy Banat: Huh! Bakit?
Girl Banat: Pulutin mu na ang puso ko
nahulog na rin sau..XD

*     *     *      *     *

Kandila ka ba?
Gusto kasi kita hipan
para mamatay ka na! XD

*     *     *      *     *

Mag syotang nag uusap sa tabing dagat
Girl Banat: Hon, anong zodiac sign mo??
Boy Banat: (nagisip siya dahil bobo hindi nya alam) sayo muna hon.
Girl Banat: zodiac sign ko Cancer
Boy Banat: sa kin Goiter!!! XD

*     *     *      *     *

Boy Banat: Matalino ka ba?
Girl Banat: Uu naman.
Boy Banat: Akala ko matalino ka, Eh bat hindi mo ako masagot?.
Girl Banat: Eh Bubu ka pala eh..Alam ko naman na hindi ikaw ang sagot..XD

*     *     *      *     *

ano ginagawa ng ELVES pagkatapos ng school?
GNOMEWORK! XD

*     *     *      *     *

"TANDUAY"
T-apat
A-akong
N-agmmhal sau
D-i ito mgbbago
U-masa ka
A-alagaan kita
Y-an tandaan mo!
Tanduay Rhum 5 years habang tumatagal lalo kitang minamahal

*     *     *      *     *

Boy Banat: anong hanap mo sa isang lalaki?
Girl: kahit simple lang basta mabait..
Boy Banat: ahhhh..
Girl: eh ikaw naman.. anong hanap mo sa isang babae?
Boy Banat: Wala..
Girl: huh? bat wala?
Boy Banat: kasi,NAHANAP na KITA..XD

*     *     *      *     *

Boy Banat: Beh! password ka ba?
Girl: Huh? bakit naman?
Boy Banat: hindi kasi kita pewedeng kalimutan.
Girl: ang sweet mo naman Beh!.
Boy Banat: weee.. pero pwede kitang palitan. hahaha XD

*     *     *      *     *

Different prayers of single women…
At 15: Sana po, give me SuperMAN.
At 18: Sana po, give me a cute MAN.
At 20: Sana po, give me the best MAN.
At 30: Sana po, give me a good MAN.
At 40: Sana po, give me a MAN.
At 50: Sana po, give me sinoMAN.
At 60: Sana po, maawakanaMAN.
At 70: Sana po, kaya ko pa naMAN.
At 80: Sana po, kahit hipo MAN lang.

*     *     *      *     *

NOON:
Boy Banat: apoy ka ba?
Girl Banat: bakit?
Boy Banat: kase ALAB u.

NGAYON.
Boy Banat: Apoy ka ba ?
Girl Banat: oo , gusto mo sunugin kita!

*     *     *      *     *

Isang hapon at tapos na klase ng Mag Jowa.
GF: Hatid mo ko?
Boy Banat: Wala akong pera, wala pa allowance ko!
GF: Ayaw mo? Walang tao sa bahay ngayun eh!
Boy Banat: Aba'y tingnan mo nga naman,
may naipit palang singkwenta.

*     *     *      *     *

Ano ang similarity ng UTOT at TULA?
Pareho silang nagmula sa POET!

*     *     *      *     *

Wag kang mabahala sa BF/GF mo pag my nagtext sa kanila ng I LUV U....
Mabahala ka kung ang txt ay I LUV U 2...

*     *     *      *     *

Kung wala kang balak MAHALIN...
LANDIIN mo nlng...dahil sa panahon ngaun
nauuso na ang "M.U". XD
"MALANDING UGNAYAN"

*     *     *      *     *

Do you know INNER ROW???
What is inner row?
Inner Row is that which comes before

Pibrerow
Marsow
Abril
Mayow.

*     *     *      *     *

Girl Banat: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
Boy Banat: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "Go To H3ll", kaya ito uwi
agad ako..

*     *     *      *     *

Nag-iingay ka sa klase..
sinabihan ka ng CRUSH mo na..
"tumahimik ka nga! ang ingay mo, halikan kita jan eh!"
TATAHIMIK KA KAYA?
nyayahahahaha...XD

*     *     *      *     *

Sabi ni peterpan
"mag isip ka lang ng gusto mo ..
makakaLipad ka" ! ..
pero bakit nung inisip kita .
nahulog ako ?

If you have you own funny Tagalog Love Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Pinoy School Jokes

Going to school can be very boring and you might get uninterested just by thinking about it. Learning is not that always fun enough to get you motivated. But try checking out these Pinoy School Jokes that will definitely lighten up the mood in the context of going to school. These will give you the cracks and the humour that you need to shy away those dull moments. You can relate some of the situations here on what is going around your school. You can share these to your classmates or peers so that you can laugh together with these jokes. 

Titser: Ano ang Pambansang Hayop ng Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa letrang "K"!
Juan: Kabayo?
Titser: Mali! Nagtatapos ito sa letrang "W"!
Juan: Kabayow?
Titser: Mali! May 2 sungay ito!
Juan: demonyong kabayow? Hahahah

                                                             *       *        *        *         *

Teacher: Write a sentence ending with HAND.
Juan: My penis in ur hand!
Teacher slapped juan…
Juan: Sorry I forgot to put space between pen and is…^_^

*       *        *        *         *

Teacher: Juan, ba’t lagi mong nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?
Juan: Narinig ko po kasi, sabi ni ate sa boyfriend niya, basain ng laway ang ulo ‘pag ayaw pumasok.

*       *        *        *         *

Mayabang si Pedro
Teacher: Ito na ang resulta ng exam nyo. Si Boy Banat lang nakakuha ng 97%.
Pedro: Ano ha?! Kaya nyo yon?! Wala pang aral yon! Sinasayang nyo lang tuition nyo! Umuwi na kayo mga bubu!!
Teacher: The rest, nakakuha ng 100% !!  hahahahaha

*       *        *        *         *

sa isang Math class..

Teacher: Pedro, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 naman sa pangalawa, at 3 sa pangatlo; meron akong?
Pedro: Kalandian! Isa kang karengkeng Ma'am.

*       *        *        *         *

Teacher asks her pupils what they want to be in the future...
Kiko: I want to be a lawyer
Juan: I want to be a doctor
Nene: I want to be a mother
Pedro: I want to help Nene

*       *        *        *         *

Guro: Pedro, Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, di umiinom. di nagsusugal at di  nangchichicks ang papa mo?
Pedrol: Opo!
Pedro: Wow! Anong sikreto nya?
Pedro: walang pera

Teacher: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?
Pupil: my titser is beautiful, isn't she?
Teacher:: very good, translate it in tagalog.
Pupil: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?

*       *        *        *         *

HRM at NURSING Student nag-uusap:
HRM:Penge nga alcohol!!
NURSE:La akong alcohol eh.. sori
HRM:Naturingan kang nursing student, la kang alcohol!
NURSE:Cge nga.pengeng kaldero at sandok!Now n!May dala kb?!

*       *        *        *         *

"The prefix "BI" is used to describe things that come in two's like BIcycle, BIfocal,
and BInary.
Can you give me an example Juan?"
JUAN: (lunok) "Ma'am.. B*YAG?"

These are jokes that can give us humour, fun and enjoyment but we still have to remember that they are still jokes. Some may get hurt or be 'corny' about it, but regardless about these queries, just enjoy browsing and sharing these Pinoy School Jokes to others by visiting frequently www.boybanat.com and other social media partners:

Facebook: /AkosiBoyBanat

Twitter: @akosiboybanat

Google +: BoyBanat +

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Tagalog / Pinoy Funny Call Center Jokes

Here's a collection funny and humor Tagalog / Pinoy Funny Call Center Jokes which features conversation of a call center agent and a customer. These are for entertainment and fun only and no offense meant to our fellow call center agents.  If you have your own favorite Pinoy /  Tagalog Funny Call Center Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: call center, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Bill
Customer(bisaya): hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Customer: Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Customer: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Customer: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote...hahaha)

Check out this Funny Call Center Agent Conversation video

3 Minutes
CS: I w! as hoping you can take this survey with me...Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes....
(Wapak!..napatagalog eh hahahah)

**********   *

Nagulat
Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service:
Agent: Let me just ask you.... How much are paying with your current provider right now?
Customer: Well, I'm only paying $25.00 (--which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering)
Agent: (Surprised) MAGKANO??!!
(Napa-Tagalog eh ahahah)

**********   *

Cat

TSR: It's C as in CAT.
CUST: what?
TSR: C as in CAT. C-A-T... me0w me0w...
(ayuz! very specific na yan ha baka hindi m0 pa magets...)!

**********   *

Slang English
ethernet cord connected???...
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)
TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...
(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)

**********   *

Candy
CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(Sana Cotton Candy na sinabi mo teh.. hahahah...)

**********   *

Bing Bong
Agent verifying info from customer:
Agent: Is that a P for..... (thinking)... Ping-Pong?
Customer: No, it's B.
Agent: Oh, B, like BING-BONG.

**********   *

May Masisi lang
CS Agent: Thanks for calling Dell this is Mary how can I help you?
Caller(irate): I hate Dell! You should stop producing Vista! Vista SUCKS!!!
CS Agent: I do understand where you are coming from, but you see maam Microsoft is the company the created Vista not Dell.
Caller: .... oh (Hangs up)
(May masisi lang...Pahiya ng onti, walang bawe.. Hahaha!..)

**********   *

Spoiled Brat Kid
CS: Thank you for calling .........my name is .........how can I help you?
Caller: My daughter purchase tickets using my CC I want a refund.
CS: I apologize for that inconvenience but all sales are final no refunds or exchanges.
Caller: Well she is a spoil Brat uncontrollable kid what can we do about that?
CS: Im sorry ma'm but I'm afraid I can't help you with that maybe you can try a Juvenile Correctional Facility.HANG UP.
(Hahaha..UU nga bakit hindi mo Itali anak mo teh hahah)

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Tagalog Funny Applicant Jokes Collection

Tagalog Funny Applicant Jokes Collection is a compilation of hilarious and outrageous job interviews. Well, everyone has the occasional bad job interview and there are real job-seekers who would do their best just to get hired for a position. There are ones who would even do the funniest thing to catch the recruiter's attention. Dumbest it may seem but some applicants can make it but most were rejected. 

Check out these Tagalog Funny Applicant Jokes Collection that may be good, bad, or downright ugly. But one thing is for sure -  these will gonna make you laugh and ease your busy day!

BOSS: Isa sa hinahanap namin sa appplicant ay yung responsable
JUAN: Sir, responsable po ako
BOSS: Talaga ?
JUAN: Oo, Sir. Dun sa dati kong trabaho, pag may di magandang nangyayari ay ako ang laging itinuturong responsable

*     *     *     *     *

HR: Anung pangalan mo?

Juan: Juan Kampupot po.

HR: Ilang taon?

Juan: Desiotso po.

HR: May trabaho?

Juan: TRICYCLE Driver po.

HR: SINGLE?

Juan: May SIDECAR ho TRICYLE Driver nga eh, Kaloka Ka!

*     *     *     *     *

Simple Tagalog Quotes and Pinoy Simple Quotes

Looking for a simple tagalog quotes that you can use for motivation and inspiration? Here's a list of life motivational Tagalog Simple Quotes and Simple Pinoy Quotes that you can share with.  If you have your own favorite Tagalog Simple Quotes and Simple Pinoy Quotes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy simple. Hope you'll like it!

Hindi tamang gumamit ka ng ibang tao para maka move-on ka, ginagago mo na nga ang sarili mo, nakasakit ka pa ng iba.

**********   *

Wala naman masama sa pag-magmahal ng sobra sobra basta ba, wag lang sosobra sa ISA.

**********   *

Ang type ko sa isang lalaki ay yung hindi na naghahanap ng iba, lalo na pag "In a relationship" na siya.

Check out this Simple Quotes that move Hearts video on Youtube

Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon BAD iNFLUENCE ang TROPA! Sadyang may mga bagay lang na masarap gawin kapag sila ang KASAMA.

**********   *

Bakit kapag may Boyfriend ka ang unang tinatanong lagi ay kung GWAPO ba?

Bakit di nila unang itanong kung Matino ba?

**********   *

Bakit Alak ang sagot sa mga taong Nasasaktan? Simple lang dahil sanay tayong "Alcohol" ang gamot pag tayo ay Nasusugatan.

**********   *

Ang buhay ay parang Adidas at Nike lang, "Nothing is impossible" so "Just Do It".

**********   *

Pag tinawag kang "Plastik", tawagin mo siyang PAPEL. Bakit? kasi hindi ka naman makikipag-Plastikan kung walang Pumapapel eh.

**********   *

Hindi naman masamang maging Single ka, ang masama in a Relationship ka nga, Kabet ka naman pala.

**********   *

Hindi mo kailangan makipagsabayan sa iba para masabing Gwapo ka, dahil ang tunay na gwapo, Ugali muna ang inaayos bago ang Itsura.

**********   *

Wag na wag mo akong papakawalan, kung ayaw mo akong makitang Pinag-Aagawan.

**********   *

Hindi mo kailangang magpakita ng pusod at hindi mo kailangang naka-todo make up. Dahil ang tunay na maganda, ngiti palang, pamatay na.

**********   *

Wag na wag kang maiinlove sa taong walang pakialam, dahil para ka lang nagwawalis habang nkabukas electric fan, Lahat ng Effort Nasasayang.

**********   *

Minsan isipin mo muna kung may masasaktan ka sa gagawin mo. Dahil ang SORRY ay nagbubura lang ng Galit at hindi Nagtatama ng Mali.

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Kung pwede lang maging excuse ang pagiging Broken Hearted, Malamang Marami ng Absent sa High School at College.

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Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes

Here's a collection of Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes.  If your have your own favorite Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes, we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: funny pinoy. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Tuition Fee

Alam mo yung feeling na hawak mo,
pero alam mong hinding hindi magiging sa'yo.
-Tuition Fee

*      *     *     *     *

Killer: Father mangungumpisal po ako.
Father: ano ba kasalanan mo???
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 katao.
Father: BAkit??
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos… kayo po ba naniniwala??
Father: Dati, pero ngayon trip-trip lang.
Lolang Emo
"Isang araw habang nanunuod ako tumabi sakin ang lola ko...
ang haba ng buhok at itim na itim ang damit parang malungkot at may hawak na kutsilyo...
KINABAHAN ako.....
nag-isip ako....
nagsalita sya....
sabe......
"apo, bagay ba sakin ang EMO?"

Pamasahe

Sa Isang Jeep
Pasahero: Mama, magkano po yong pasahe?
Driver: 8 pesos yong minimum.
Pasahero: (Dumukot ito sa bulsa para kunin yong pera niya, ngunit sa 'di sinasadyang dahilan kulang yong pamasahe niya.) Patay, kulang 'tong pera ko. Paano kaya ito? (Nag isip ito at lumingon sa driver. Napansin niya na duling ito. Sabi niya sa kanyang sarili, tama duling 'tong driver sigurado 'pag nagbigay ako Ng 3.50 di diya mapapansin na kulang 'tong pera ko, kasi doble 'yong paningin nito. Inabot niya sa driver 'yong pera.
Ngunit laking gulat niya nong may sinabi 'yong driver sa kanya.
Driver: Kulang ito!
Pasahero: Anong kulang? Di ba sabi mo 7peso 'yong minimum?
Driver: Oo nga 8 pesos. Eh! Dalawa kaya kayo.

*      *     *     *     *

Holdaper na Mabait

Holdaper: Holdap to! Akina laman ng pitaka mo.
Biktima: Pasensya na po walang laman ang pitaka ko e.
Holdaper: Ganoon ba? Paano yan?
Biktima: Kung gusto niyo po kukuha muna ako sa bahay tapos balikan ko na lang kayo dito.
Holdaper: O sige. Aantayin na lang kita dito. Bumalik ka na lang pag may laman na yang pitaka mo. Buti na lang mabait ako.

*      *     *     *     *

Bestfriend

Boy: tandaan mo lahat ng sasabihin ko dahil importante ito
Girl: ok ano ba sasabihin mo?
Boy: mahal na mahal kita lagi mo tandaan na andito lang ako lagi sa tabi mo!!!
Boy: ano natatandaan mo ba?
Girl: (kinilig) ah oo naman
Boy: good pakisabi sa besfriend mo ha!!

Grade

tatay: anak!! anong itong F sa card mo ha!!

anak: (nag-iisip) tatay Fasado po ibig sabihin niyan

tatay: Ahh akala ko Ferfect!!

*      *     *     *     *

Madamot

Juan: Oys, ano yan? Pinya? Pahingi naman dyan.

Pedro: Pahingi? Nasaan ka noong nagbubungkal ako ng lupa sa ilalim ng init ng araw? Nasaan ka noong nagtatanim ako habang kumukulog, kumikidlat at

bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan? Nasaan ka noong oras na nag-aani ako na nagkalat ang maraming ahas sa dadaanan ko, noong naghihirap ako sa pagpasan ng pinya? Nasaan ka?

Juan: Nakakulong kasi ako noon! Nakapatay ako ng madamot!

Pedro: Ganun ba?

Kuha ka na, kahit ilan!

May langka pa doon!

*      *     *     *     *

Lab ako ni Tatay

ANAK: 'Tay! Sino mas mahal mo, ako o si nanay?

TATAY: Syempre ikaw anak...

ANAK: Kaya pala kapag madaling araw,

ako po ay kinukumutan niyo

at si nanay naman po ay

hinuhubaran niyo...

sweet niyo talaga 'tay, a lab u....

*      *     *     *     *

Sekyu

Airforce: "No guts, No glory!"

Marines: "No retreat, No surrender!"

Army: "No pain, No gain!"

Naks ayaw patalo ang Security Guards: "No I.D, No entry!"

*      *     *     *     *

Lasing

Isang lasing nasalubong ang matabang babaeng may aso...

Lasing: Hoy, san mo nakuha 'yang baboy?

Babae: Aso ito hindi baboy!

Lasing: Wag kang sumabat! 'Yong aso ang kausap ko!

If you have you own Tagalog Funny Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Tagalog Jeepney Jokes

Tagalog Jeepney Jokes is a collection of jokes about jeepney drivers and passengers that we usually see on our day to day living. Jeepneys or public utility jeepney (PUJ) or simply jeep is the common and the cheapest means of transportation here in the Philippines and probably most of us have experienced the ride. If not then maybe your a rich kid or you've got the money to a more convenient ride. There's so many situations that we encounter whenever we ride a jeep and these can be wonderful or something bad that eventually become part of our daily struggle on the road. The best part of it is that you'll able to see different kind of people who will either make you smile or annoy you.

But in this selection you will probably relate and drive you to quick memory of an experience you had while riding a jeep. Read through these Tagalog Jeepney Jokes to start up your day and know more about the kind of passengers that you can get along with.

MEDYO HIGH BLOOD
Drayber: San ang baba?
Pasahero: Sa gitna ng kalsada. Para patay ako tapos kulong kayo.

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MEDYO EMO
Drayber: Ilan dito sa 20?
Pasahero: Isa lang. Wag niyo na din sanang itanong kung bakit. Sanay na ako na palaging iniiwan. Kaya nasanay na rin akong mag-isa. Keep the change.

ERAP Jokes Collection

Erap Jokes Collection is a feature about the comic character and funny jokes conversation of Erap with the other people and personalities. Erap Jokes are very popular on TV, tabloid and even today in social media networks, blogs and website. Did you know that Joseph "Erap" Estrada, is a former Mayor of San Juan City, a Senator and the former President of the Philippines. He's the first one to be elected as President and Vice-President. Now, He is currently the Mayor of the City of Manila. Here's the funny and the best Erap Jokes Collection that you'll surely laugh on it. Hope your enjoy it!

CARABAO
Teacher: Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
Erap: Carabao, ma’am!
Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
Erap: How about another Carabao?

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KLASMEYT
Classmate 1: What is 5 plus 4?
Erap: Eh di 9!
Classmate 2: What is 4 plus 5?
Erap: Gagaguhin mo pa ako eh binaligtad mo lang... eh di 6!

MILF
ERAP to MNLF : Sumuko na kayo!
MNLF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.
ERAP : s#3t! Tuloy ang giyera.

SAFE SEX
Nag-usap sina FVR at Erap sa sexual practice nila.
FVR: Naniniwala ka ba sa safe sex?
ERAP: OO naman, sinisigurado ko na wala ang mga asawa
nila kapag ginagawa ko yon.

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WRISTBAND
Erap taking a bath nang biglang lumindol. He ran outside the Beverly Hotel without his clothes on.
Guard: Mr. President! I think you forgot something…
Erap: What the F*#! Yung wristband ko!

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SOFDRINK
Tanong: Ilan litres meron ang Coke 2000?
Erap: Apat!
Tanong: Ha?
Erap: LITRE C, LITRE O, LITRE K, LITRE E!! 'anga!

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SIGNAL LIGHT
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light
(as driver switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin?
(as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…

*     *     *     *      *

LUNCH
After finishing the main course at lunch meeting with Clinton.
Erap is asked if he would like another serving.
Erap replies politely: “No thank you. I’m fed up already.”

*     *     *     *      *

CHIPPY
Ramos: Erap, why do you cry while eating Chippy? And why do you shed your tears on the wrapper?
Erap: Because it says here on top "Tear here"

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WALEY
Sa isang French resto kasama si Jinggoy:
Sabi ni Erap: “Anak, magpa-va-let na lang tayo.”
Jinggoy: “dad val-ey parking po.”
Nang nasa loob na ng resto:
Erap: “ayan mag-buff-et tayo anak.”
Jinggoy: “dad, it’s buff-ey.”
Matapos kumain at magbabayad na:
Erap: “naku anak, nakalimutan ko sa car ang
aking wall-ey!”

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ALLIGATORS
In a cabinet meeting ERAP (galit na galit) :
"THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF ALLEGATIONS THESE DAYS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE "ALLIGATORS' ARE"!

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8 FEET
Friend: Pareng Erap may regalo ako sa b-day mo phyton ang haba grabe 8 feet.
Erap: ako ba niloloko mo hindi ako tanga no, alam kong walang paa ang ahas 8 feet ka pa dyan. Tanga!

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SEAFOOD
Erap & Gloria having a conversation:
Gloria: Salamat at nagkabati na tayo sa wakas
Erap: Oo nga, dahil dyan i-treat kita sa paborito kong restaurant
Gloria: Saan?, ano b paborito mong mga pagkain?
Erap: Hulaan mo nagsisimula s letter "C"
Gloria: Calamares?
Erap: No.
Gloria: Cakes? Calamansi?
Erap: Mali lahat.
Gloria: Sirit na nga!
Erap: Edi C-Foods (Seafoods)

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AIRPLANE
Steward: Sir are you done?
Erap: No, I'm Erap
Steward: I mean are you finished sir?
Erap: No, I'm a Filipino
Steward: i mean are you through?
Erap: What do you think of me FALSE?

Erap Jokes Collection is NOT to intend to take anything serious to any individual  but these are exaggerations and not close to reality. These are collected from other websites, blogs and social media sites. So if you have your own favorite Erap Jokes out there, you can simply post it here.

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Vice Ganda Funny Jokes

Catch the Vice Ganda Funny Jokes by one of the well-known and one of the funniest comedian in the world of Phillippine Showbiz - Vice Ganda. Here's a collection of Vice Ganda Funny Jokes. If your have your own favorite  Vice Ganda Funny Jokes , we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: vice ganda. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Vice Ganda sa Opisina

Vice Ganda: Pasok mo nga dito yung mga papeles ko..
Secretary: Sir saan ko ipapasok , dito sa loob"?
Vice: Hinde sa labas, ipasok nga diba.pwede bang ipasok sa labas, sige nga subukang mong ipasok doon sa labas

ito pa isa:

Kararating lang sa opisina
Secretary: Hi. good morning po Sir nandito na po pala kayo.
Vice: Hinde wala pa, picture ko lang toh, hindi pa ako to.

Reporter: Pagkatapos ng nose to nose ano naman pauusuhin mo?
Vice Ganda: Habulan saksak..ikaw uunahin ko...Keri? Joke :)

Reporter: Anong course mo nung college?
Vice Ganda Ganda: Automotive Major in Troubleshooting

Reporter: Ano ang ginagawa mo pag Sunday?
Vice Ganda: Nag aantay ng MONDAY...

Vice Ganda Holdap

Holdaper: Holdap to!
Vice Ganda: And so? Walang nagtatanong.
Holdaper: SABI NG HOLDAP TO!
Vice Ganda: so dapat pinagsisigawan?
Holdaper: Holdap nga to!! Holdap! Holdap!
Vice Ganda: Paulit-ulit? Unli tayo?
Holdaper: di ka tatahimik papatayin kita!
Vice Ganda: ano to, kalokohan? Akala ko holdap tapos patayan na? Ano to, 2 in 1?
Special o regular?
Holdaper: Bahlaa ka, Aalis na lang ako!
Vice Ganda: Ay ganun? Walk out? Di pa tayo tapos! Bumalik ka dito!

************   *

Vice Ganda in Restaurant

Vice papuntang Fastfood
Vice: (Umupo)
Waiter: Gud afternun po! Kakain po kayo?
Vice: Hindi, magluluto, tutulungan ko chef nyo.. Kakahiya naman nakiupo ako dito tapos hindi pa ko tutulong.. Bilis na.. Gusto mo tulungan pa kita sa mga customers nyo.. Tapos aasenso business nyo.. Edi masaya, di ba? Umunlad na kayo, nagutom pa ko.. Ang galing noh?

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Patay Tatay

Vice Ganda: umiiyak sa harap ng kabao ng tatay
dumating si bestfriend, hinimas-himas yung likod ni vice bestfiend: uy, okey ka lang?
Vice Ganda: ikaw loka ka, patayin ko tatay mo? okey ka lang!!!!
Vice Ganda: loka ka tatay ko nasa kabao, tapos tatanungin mo ko kung okey ka lang!!!

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Vice Ganda Jeep Trip

Binaba siya sa gitna
Vice mabundol ng isa pang jeep…
Manong2: Nasaktan ka ba?
Vice Ganda: (naasar) Ay hindi, nag-enjoy ako. Ulitin natin, bunguin mo pa. Isa pa! Dali! Ang sarap kasi! Nakabundol ka tapos itatanong mo kung masakit? Ikaw kaya bundulin ko? Tapos i-share mo skin feelings mo, kaya na-enjoy mo, sige magbungguan tayo. Laruin natin, ipauso natin, bunggu-bungguan.

************   *

Vice Ganda sa Park

Vice Ganda nakaupo sa park.. Walang nakaupo sa ibang upuan..
Manong: Pwede po bang umupo dito?
Vice Ganda: Hindi, tinatalunan yan.. Nakikita mo di ba, ang daming nakaupo.. Mamaya tatalunan ko yan.. Tapos sabay nating gagawin.. Sama na rin natin yung mga dumadaan.. Para mukha tayong mga baliw lahat.. Bilis na, simulan mo na..Maya-maya lang susunod ako.

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Vice Ganda with Fan
Fan: Siguro ang yaman yaman mo na
Vice Ganda: Sana madilang anghel ka....

Fan: Ano gamit mo papunta sa CEBU?
Vice: ROLLER BLADES

Fan: Ang layo ng Pangasinan sa CEBU
Vice Ganda: Ang layo din ng IQ mo sayo lapitan mo siya dali

Fan: Kaya mong magroller blades papuntang Pangasinan?
Vice Ganda: Backride lang ako..Joke Jokes Jokes

If you have you own Vice Ganda Funny Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For more reads, just log on to www.boybanat.com or visit Boy Banat Official Facebook  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat) Page for the latest features.

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Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings

Love is not always drama and romance, Love can be Fun too! Here's a collection of best, funny and latest Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings made just for you and to share in your facebook or twitter accounts.  If you have your own favorite  Quotes about Funny Love Tagalog, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy funny love, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Kung wala kang maisip na iregalo sa taong mahal mo

Halikan mo na lang. ?tapos sabihin mo ..

“Kung ayaw mo, ibalik mo na lang.’

Ang pagmamahal ko sa mga EX ko ay parang ulam

namin kanina….UBOS NA!!

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If I get takot, would you hawak me tight?

If I gawa something mali, would you make it right?

If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame?

If I sabi I miss you, would you ramdam the same?

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“Kung araw-araw ko ba namang makikita pag mumukha mo…

Eh di sana…Wala ng malungkot na araw ang dadaan sa buhay ko.”

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Naranasan mo na ba makipag-inuman sa mahal mo?

Yung tipong nalalasing ka na tapos napayakap ka sa kanya

At bumulong sya sa yo..”mahal kita…” nagulat k at nagtanong .. “ano?”sumigaw

sya .. “tagay mo na!”

Ang PAG-IBIG ay parang utot. Kahit anong gawin ay napakahirap itago

At pag-ibinuga mo ang kimkim na damdamin, maaamoy ng lahat

kahit hind ka man umamin! hehehe

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Sana naging damit na lang ako…

Para kahit minsan..

i-try mo kung bagay ako sayo

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Chocolate sana yung bibilhin ko,

Kaso, naisip kita, nagpaload nalang ako..

alam mo kung bakit? chocolate lang naman yun eh

MAS SWEET ka pa dun !

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Kung ayaw mong mainlove ng todo

Ay huwag mo ng susubukang tingnan pa ako,

dahil baka mabaliw ka ng husto!!

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“Yoyo ka ba?

Kasi kahit anong gawin kong pagtapon sayo,

Bumabalik ka parin sa puso ko”

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Dahan-dahan ka sa pagpili

ng MAMAHALIN mo ..

Baka kasi MALAGPASAN mo ako!

If you have you own list of quotes and hugot lines from Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

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